Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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