he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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