if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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