Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
