I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
