Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
