taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hippo gnu deer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
