Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
