He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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