he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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