I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
