After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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