goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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