please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My breasts were aching with rage.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
