I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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