The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
