hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize