There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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