just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
