It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
