Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
