thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
