If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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