im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
