That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
