what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
