3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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