he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
