it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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