Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
