Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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