in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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