Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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