So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
