did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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