So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
