ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry about my life...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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