just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Enjoy the penises
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
