Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I deserve this hangover.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
