So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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