he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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