"it" just moved
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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