i think i have herpe
just one?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
