Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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