their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
