She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
