now i know why i became what i already was.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
