Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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