shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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