I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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