I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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