I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
