So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I party with great urgency now.
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