Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
