I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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