I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
