My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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