scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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