You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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