He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
