I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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