He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
