so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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