that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize