I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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