There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
