Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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