they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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