Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize